Who taught you the most about love?

Who taught you the most about love?

Yesterday, while procrastinating writing this post, I watched a video where a man with a Hollywood-leading-man face talked about how his father demonstrated love. The handsome man spoke candidly in between sobs. It was riveting. More importantly, it got me thinking about who taught me the most about love.

🐣My parents exemplify “love is a verb.” My parents spend so much time loving me that they never get the chance to tell me. And after 30 years in their household, when I biblically left their home to be loved by someone else, I never once felt unloved. I never felt like I needed to hear someone say they love me. I feel it. You feel it. We move. But I still say it, though. I love you. I love you. Try it.

🙏My atheist Turkish/German brother, Yücel, taught me lessons in loyalty that would make 90s rappers green with envy.

Let me tell you a short story: It was a humid Wednesday night in 2012, and Yücel and I had work the following morning. We were roommates. We got a call from our 6’4 Latvian friend. The Latvian was built like a leaner Thor during his depressive episode, with the biggest heart and the heaviest right foot when seated in the driver’s seat of his white Volkswagen sedan.

The Latvian was the best driver I had ever met, but that didn’t stop me from reciting Hail Marys in the backseat of his car. The Latvian showed up shortly after his call and told us we were heading to Miami to party with some Russians. Miami was about 4 hours away from our residence hall in Lakeland, Florida, to show you the magnitude of this bad decision.

The randomness with which I met Russians in Florida showed me the power of the law of attraction. You’d never meet Russians anywhere until you were friends with a Turkish/German, a Latvian, and an Uzbek. Then, suddenly, everyone you met was called Vladimir, and their girlfriends all looked like Black Widow with the tortured, enigmatic sexiness to match.

The Latvian drove us to Miami like a 21-year-old whose crush had promised them sex. He got our consent along the way. In the club, we met several Eastern Europeans; I was the only black guy and the shortest guy there. Excluding Yücel, of course. God can’t give you everything. The poor fellow is handsome but a solid Lloyd, 5’2 and fine, too. (If you don’t get that reference, you might be too young for this post).

After a couple of hours of oonts oonts music and vodka shots; naturally, we were in the parking lot preparing [not] to fight with a team of Russians. This post is not about this fight, so keep your pants on. In that moment, Yücel showed me the kind of friend he was for the millionth time. He yelled, “Guys, I don’t have a visa. We are in America, and I can’t get arrested. But I love you guys, so if we must fight, I will fight with you. We will figure the rest out later.” If you’ve met Yücel, you know he meant every word. Loyal to a fault, he was. Thankfully, our Latvian teddy bear got us out of there with his turbo engine and his heavy right foot. We praised him, forgetting he took us there in the first place. Don’t forget, Yücel and I had work in the morning…

If you were visiting a country Yücel was living in, and I told him you were my friend, Yücel would treat you like his family. You would hardly spend a cent. You would leave with a new life-view. My atheist brother made me a better Christian than any sermon ever did.

Who taught you the most about love?

💔My past lovers first held mirrors to my face and showed me how flawed and immature I was. Before them, I went through life smiling with everyone and convinced myself I was a nice person. When someone entrusts you with their heart, and you miscarry it. They are hurt. You are hurt. Only the lessons and growth make it worth it. Some guy said there is no good way to break up with a woman, and I can’t decide if that’s true. But, when I look back on my life, no matter how well I communicated my feelings, I hurt people’s feelings in the end, and their feelings could not be invalidated. The solution to heartbreaks is to date the right people. Good luck with that 😅.

Who taught you the most about love?

🫰🏾I have learned that love is practiced by all your senses and all your being. Do you think people are stealing people’s hoodies because they are serial killers collecting trophies? (Maybe 👀 😅).

In love, there can be no half-measures. Arguments can’t endure because you’re on the same team. No one is winning, so why am I waiting for you to say sorry? Let me say sorry first so that we can have fun until our next fight. Rinse and repeat.

Who taught you the most about love?

Have a blessed week ✌🏾